there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
