Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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