So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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