I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
