is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
