Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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