I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't deserve a penis
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
