im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
