She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
