i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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