oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
