He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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