I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
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I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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