I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize