Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
