We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
