why didn't you poke me back
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
