Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
