god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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