i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
