On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Bring me that man meat
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
