But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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