Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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