Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
