I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize