You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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