im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
