You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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