I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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