How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
