One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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