He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
