I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
