Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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