belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
nut hugger
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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