I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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