forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
