I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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