My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
