Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
