Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
