i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
