When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
