Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
