hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
