Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Bring me that man meat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
