You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
