you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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