Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
