Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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