Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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