This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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