HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
