true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
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Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
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It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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