so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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