We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
