Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
